Recognizing Fear
Just recently I realize that I live in fear. Fear about so many things, those out of my control. The fear bridges me to insecurity. The insecure feelings bring a lot of negativity. And I become a control freak for things that I can control, and feel so depress for things that I cannot control. The fear led me to nowhere, inability to choose a path to go and commit myself to things I choose. For months I’m searching what has been wrong. With a help from a best friend, I dig out the root of the problem. The fear of losing the precious things I already have, and the fear of not being able to get the thing I wish to have in life. Including the fear to experience the unpleasant things that had happened to me in the past - trauma.
The fear… halt me to reach my future. It blocks my feet to step forward. Because I fear that I will step on the wrong side.
A few days ago, one morning as I was doing my daily devotion, I read the writing titled “The Only Right Kind of Fear”, written by Joyce Meyer (New Day, New You). Joyce wrote that there’s only one right kind of fear described in the bible - the reverential fear and awe of God. The fear of God. Fearing God doesn’t mean being afraid of Him or believing He is going to hurt you. It is a type of godly respect that involves reverential fear and awe. If you have a reverent and worshipful fear, you will obey. You will do what God says to do, and your confidence and trust in Him will continue to grow. Having a referential fear and awe of God has a positive effect on our relationships with other people.
Yesterday afternoon, while I’m enjoying my quiet time by reading one of Paulo Coelho’s book, Brida… I read a paragraph describing about fear. When Brida always thinking that she might regret the choices she has made. She’s afraid of committing herself, and she ended up following no paths in her life. Even in the most important area in her life, love, she has failed to commit herself. She feared the pain, loss and separation.
And today as I think over my life… I hardly move myself from the present time to the future… because of fear… just like Brida… I fear the pain, the loss and the separation. I fear that I have made the wrong choices.
In conclusion, I realize that I should only fear of God. A worshipful fear to God. Instead of fearing the uncontrollable things I face in life. I shouldn’t fear about what I have now that might gone one day… I shouldn’t fear about my job, money, love and life. For as long as I do my job as if I’m doing it for God… God will bless me with wonderful chances… as long as I manage my finance in the ‘right’ way, I shouldn’t be afraid that I will have no money… as long as I learn to love in the ‘right’ way, I shouldn’t be afraid that I will be hurt… and as long as I learn to listen to the secret that my soul whisper to me, I shouldn’t be afraid that I’m choosing the wrong path. I’m learning to live in faith… that God is in control.
Posted: March 23rd, 2008 under Thoughts.
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