The process of letting go is not an easy thing to do… and I never find it simple. There’s always a struggle inside, where the heart and the mind will stay in each opposite side. The last couple months, I deal with ‘letting go’… the last one when I have to let go my grandfather. At the age of 86, he passed away peacefully after a week of physical struggle in a hospital. I grew up with him and my grandmother, so it’s quite a big loss for me. The day when he passed away, I remember the last time I saw him standing, walking, eating and smiling, as well as the struggles and the complains he made when he was hospitalized the whole week.

As far as I can remember, there was one afternoon… in the front living room, late afternoon, I was about 3-4 years old, sitting on his lap, and he was singing for me… “gelang si patu gelang, gelang si rama-rama, mari pulang, marilah pulang, marilah pulang, bersama-sama”, it felt just like yesterday. Another memory came to my mind, when he took me walking in the morning with him (still at the age around 3-4 years), following the Sukajadi road (in my hometown). On those days, there were big trees on the road, less cars, and the air was fresh. From home to Setiabudi, we walked, and he let me pick up the purple and red little fruits from the tree.

Logically, my mind understands… that this is a natural thing that will happen to a human. It’s about time for him to go to heaven, though my heart still cannot accept it. But I know… I have to let him go… and pray that God will always be with him.

Sometimes we should let go people who has been in our lives, not only because of the person passed away, but because we know the person should go… for a reason that we might not understand, and only God knows the reason why. Losing a person that we love is always painful. Though I learn, trusting and obeying the God is the best way when we learn to let go.

At other times, we are the one who should go from other people’s life… either the time from God is up to live in the world, or we know that we should move on from one situation to another new one, and leaving the person that we love the most. Sometimes I just wonder, which one is better… being left by the person we love, or we have to leave the person we love… and I guess both are unpleasant, but for the good sake of each other’s life… letting go is a thing to do. Letting go is a process in life that every human has to go through at every stage of their life.

Letting go the person we love, always draw a deep scar inside a heart. And I know the scar will never go, it will always be there as marks that love for someone was there while someone is alive.

Goodbye…

Posted: May 9th, 2008 under Sharing.
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